


Compatibility is Freaky

by ArghressivePirate



Category: Smallville, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: because I really think they'd make awesome friends, if I continue this there'll probably be an eventual Clark and Steve brotp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:40:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArghressivePirate/pseuds/ArghressivePirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lois and Clark discuss a date on which she set him up.  Ultimately though, their conversation turns to Lex because Clark just might have feelings for him he's been dedicatedly ignoring- and, really, where else would it turn?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compatibility is Freaky

Clark had just finished preparing himself a cup of coffee when there was a knock on his apartment door. He sped from his small kitchenette, with its cheery yellow walls, into his extremely messy bedroom, displaced air whooshing around him. Here, he picked up a pair of pajama pants off the floor, sniffed them to make sure they were clean, and threw them on over his boxers.

Then, after a quick return to the kitchenette in order to retrieve his mug of coffee, he sped to the front door, pulling it open so as not to keep his visitor waiting. Upon opening it, he saw that his visitor was Lois, and he found himself wishing that he had used his X-ray vision to see who he would be admitting inside. He had a feeling that Lois was going to ask about the date on which she’d set him up, and if Clark had just checked to see who was at the door before opening it, he could have avoided the conversation all together by pretending he wasn’t home.

Instead, he had flung it open without hesitation, and Lois took no time at all before stepping inside and making herself at home. In fact, she plucked the cup of coffee he’d just made right out of his hands, and moved to lean against the front door as she began to drink from it. “How’d the date go?” she asked, after she’d taken a sip.

Clark sighed. “The only way it could have been any more boring would have been if it was the annual League meeting in which everyone gets together and debates under what circumstances, if any, it is okay to –well, you know– with a super villain.” 

“That actually sounds pretty interesting,” said Lois. “Do you think I could sit in on a meeting sometime?”

“I can tell you’re angling for a story, and this is one story you won’t be getting. There’s some things the public’s better off not knowing. Trust me when I say that this is one of them.”

He paused. “Besides, it’s not as interesting as it sounds. Everyone rehashes the same arguments every time we meet to discuss the issue, and there’s never a decisive vote. It’s the one policy issue the League is divided on.”

“This is something you will tell me more about later,” said Lois so commandingly that she had to have picked up the tone of voice from The General. “For now though, tell me more about the date.” 

“There’s not much to tell. You set me up with Steve Rogers, so of course we agreed on pretty much everything. We were too compatible; it was freaky.” 

“Didn’t he tell you the story about the super serum? There’s no way _that_ was boring.”

“Yeah, he did. And the story was swell and all, but the date was still boring. We just sat and agreed on everything all night.”

“I don’t know what it was like on the farm, but compatibility is what most people look for in a relationship, Smallville.” 

“Not me. I’m stubborn, uncompromising. I want someone who’s not afraid to call me out when I’m in the wrong. Someone who can get me to see the world in a different light, who can open me up to new ideas.”

“Hmm … weren’t you friends with someone like that, once upon a time? Your world views clashed, and that definitely worked out well for you.”

Clark glared at Lois. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I don’t appreciate the sarcasm.”

“Don’t play dumb, Smallville. You know exactly what, or rather who, I’m talking about. You keep rejecting everyone I try to set you up with.” Here Lois paused, maintaining eye contact as she took another sip from Clark’s coffee mug, as though daring Clark to challenge the statement.

When Clark offered up no such challenge, she continued on, listing off fabricated complaints. “The last guy didn’t wear enough purple, the guy before that had too much hair, and the guy bef-”

“I never actually said any of that.”

“No, but you might as well have,” said Lois, who gestured with her free hand as though to wave away the protest. “There are villains out there much more dangerous than Lex, and you still make up excuses to pay him weekly visits. That’s not the behavior of someone who has moved on.”

“It’s not like we ever dated,” said Clark. “So there’s nothing to move on from!” he responded, raising his voice slightly to help emphasize his point.

“But do you wish you had?” asked Lois.

Clark buried his face in his hands. It was too early in the morning to be contemplating the sort of questions Lois was throwing at him. She’d practically ambushed him, and now he was being subjected to one of her infamous interrogation sessions. But the only way to get her to go away would be to play along, which meant he had to answer her questions.

Clark removed his hands from his face, letting them fall by his sides. “… Maybe,” he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Well, then why don’t you quit wasting time trying to find someone new and call a truce with Lex, so that you can ask him out already?” A mischievous smirk flitted across her face. “Act fast and you might even be able to pull it off before the League decides it’s against protocol! Maybe you’ll even be able to sway the vote this time around.”

Clark glared at Lois, showing her just how unfunny he found her attempt at sounding like an infomercial. “There’s just one problem with that otherwise flawless plan; Lex wants me dead.”

Lois’s laugh was loud and long. “Don’t be ridiculous, Clark. Luthor gets what he wants. If he wanted you dead, you’d be dead.” With that, she pressed the now empty coffee mug into Clark’s left hand and his phone into his right.

“Call him and tell me how it goes,” she said, the scent of her perfume lingering behind her as she walked out of his apartment and pulled the door shut behind her.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a hazy plot in mind for this fic, should I decide to continue it. If I do, the summary will probably change to accommodate it.


End file.
